I Must Have Wandered by Mary Ellen Gambutti

In this powerful memoir, I Must Have Wandered: An Adopted Air Force Daughter Recalls, Mary Ellen Gambutti narrates the complicated journey to restoring her identity after adoption. Gambutti describes her upbringing, in turns idyllic and traumatic, through reconstructed memories, speculation, and vignettes, aided throughout by personal knowledge, letters, and other artifacts. While some generalizations dilute the memoir’s pointed focus on adoption, readers will be enlightened by Gambutti’s portrayal of an adoptee’s pervasive feelings of loss, impermanence, and abandonment. Gambutti explains how adoptees must stay hypervigilant, which takes center stage when she devotes herself to the search for her family of origin, and in the process finds herself. The book will be of special interest to adoptees, but all readers will benefit from the wisdom of her experience, and her devout pursuit of self-knowledge.