Review: Sometimes You Just Know by Bill VanPatten

Sometimes You Just Know by Bill VanPatten is a tender, warmhearted work of LGBT romance that is unafraid to tackle challenging questions or pack emotional punches. With its closely observed realism, sensitively drawn characters, and highly believable dialogue, this is a beautifully naturalistic story of love and loss, which is in turns funny, surprising, and heartrending.

As the title suggests, the big theme of the novel is that of intuition, the strange way one can know something without consciously knowing the reason why. The novel is a careful examination of this idea in respect to love, death, and family – in order to recognize your destiny when it appears, whatever it may be, one must overcome social pressure, insecurities, carefully presented self-image, and what it means to truly know another human being.

Arnie Violet is a shy, unassuming man of thirty, with a good job as a graphic designer for a Colorado-based design company. His life is comfortable and his work is rewarding, but this serves to hide a tragic seam in his life. His shyness and introversion are borne of a chronically inhibited emotional life, in part a result of losing both parents at a young age. He struggles to form deep relationships and is constantly bullied at work by his aggressive older coworker Rachel.

When his boss Harold, who he sees as something of a father figure, invites him to dinner at his house with some relatives, he has no idea that Harold’s nephew, an extremely engaging young man named Peter, will steal his heart away. Can he really date a relative of his boss? Will the ten-year age gap prove too daunting? And what secrets is the paranoid Rachel keeping close to her chest in a little manila envelope? And, in contrast, what inside information is the lovely and charming Harold hiding from Arnie, and indeed from everyone?

The book negotiates difficult issues of age-gap romance and how work dominates our lives with an impressive mix of candor and sensitivity. The workplace dynamics feel genuine, as the more domineering Rachel becomes obsessed with out-competing the diffident Arnie, while Harold schemes behind the scenes. A welcome sprinkling of humor is added by barman Adam, who not only has an ear for his customers’ problems, but has his own tragic reasons for being so invested in Arnie’s story.

VanPatten has a real eye for human social foibles and a piercing sense of character, telling his story in an easygoing, natural manner, which feels like hanging out with a friend. At times, some of the characters’ tics can become a little repetitive, but this is a minor concern, as these habits help paint the picture of the novel’s engaging cast of characters, each of whom feels fully like their own person, recognizable and relatable.

A novel full of heart, credible characters, authentic dialogue, and tear-jerking surprises, Sometimes You Just Know is likely to appeal to anyone who likes realistic, funny rom-com romance that feels very true to life.