Review: Across the Divide by Elizabeth Bernays

A charming memoir by entomologist and writer Elizabeth Bernays, Across the Divide: The Strangest Love Affair explores new forms of love later in life. Joyful, but also profound and reflective, the book is an enchanting and memorable read that mixes levity with deep emotion.

With eloquent and engaging prose, Bernays tells of her complex and beautiful relationship with a married woman in her 50s. Linda and Elizabeth fell in love despite their differences, after both had been married to men. Both of them led successful careers and had experienced loving marriages, but they couldn’t be more different as people, and it is these differences, and the difficulties of their bond together, that ultimately makes their relationship so rewarding.

Bernays is an Australian entomologist, a refined intellectual who spent most of her life leading cutting-edge research in her field, traveling all around the world with her husband and peer researcher Reg. After his death, her life was shaken to the roots – he wasn’t only the love of her life, but also the only person who could truly understand her work. Linda, on the other hand, is a Texas-born, quick-witted, practical woman with a career in professional photography spent shooting tragic scenes. She is spontaneous, smart, and has a raunchy sense of humor that makes Elizabeth cry with laughter, while leaving her friends baffled.

The book doesn’t shy away from important questions about trust, love, and marriage, carrying respect to atypical relationships of all kinds, not only the one between Elizabeth and Linda, but, for instance, also between Linda and her husband John, who accepts Elizabeth in their lives. It is in direct speech that everyone comes to life – especially Linda, who is shown with all her quirks, strengths, and weaknesses. Bernays is especially adept at making dialogue sound natural, as though we’re experiencing these moments in real time. It is rare for a memoir to read so much like fiction in its use of dialogue, but also be so immediate in its tales of real life.

It is also unconventional to devote a book to a love story at this age – their maturity adds a deeper level to the story, while their passion for each other seems in a way more genuine – not a product of youth, driven in part by the future ahead, but a relationship between two women who have navigated storied lives apart from each other. The reader cannot help but share in Bernays’ feelings towards this funny, dynamic, and tender woman, while also remaining aware of all the painful entanglements of their relationship together, drawn to each other in a way that is perennial and ageless. Their story completely cuts through stereotypes about gender and sexuality, delivering a love story that is timely and relatable, whether one has experienced an unconventional relationship or not.

A multifaceted read – light and emotional, funny and heartfelt – Across the Divide is a sensational and original memoir, telling an uplifting story about the personal revolution that love can bring, no matter one’s age.