Review: Martini Alley and Other Swashbuckling Adventures of a Certified Klutz by Diane Klutz

Diane Klutz’s Martini Alley and Other Swashbuckling Adventures of a Certified Klutz is a lighthearted diaristic memoir recounting Diane and Steve Klutz’s comical, incredible, almost surreal adventures around the USA, both on land and water.

Both fresh from Vietnam, nurse Diane Mumper and soldier Steve Klutz met at a military camp called Fort Gordon in Georgia in 1971. After a skinny-dipping slipup that almost cost them their positions, and a rumbling escape from a dangerous bar that almost cost them a trip to the hospital, the two unexpectedly fall in love and soon decide to marry.

Though before leaving for Vietnam Diane had planned to marry a Harvard doctorate student, her experience of war had completely changed her perspective on things – did she want a secure, safe, and pacific life, or did she want to have fun, take risks, and live against conventional expectations? When she meets Steve she understands that she cannot ignore her thirst for adventure, and that from this point forward she’s never going to look back.

With a great deal of brio, Klutz writes about her unconventional married life, showing how inexhaustible curiosity and hunger for change brings this couple to never ever turn down a challenge, which includes moving constantly about the country, renovating two houses, buying and selling several boats, and living in two different motorhomes. In this marriage story that blurs the line between reality and fiction, there emerges an original, eccentric, and comic kind of romantic tale.

Like two soft-at-heart pirates, the Klutzes travel where their fancy takes them and embark on many ventures, some luckier than others. Every time they itch for change, the Klutzes don’t hesitate to turn their life upside down and imagine alternative lifestyles, like moving on board the Martini Alley, the boat they named in honor of their common passion for a refreshing cocktail.

The name Klutz – their real family name – is a perfect symbol for their spontaneity and ability to adapt to any situation. Klutz doesn’t hide that some of these adventures did not end well – some resulted in a loss of money, others in a serious strain on the marriage. However, this is not a book about the difficulties of married life or growing a family; it reads more like a sketch show, a comedic take on the absurd events experienced by two people who swore to never lead a boring life.

Started as an email thread to amuse friends, it might take a little longer for the reader who doesn’t know Steve and Diane personally to warm up to the story. However, thanks to Klutz’s infectious joy and engaging style, the players soon become very familiar and one can learn a lesson in levity from them, even if only meeting them on the page. Playful and light, Klutz’s style has a chatty quality that makes it easy to imagine Diane telling the story in a live performance.

All told, Martini Alley and Other Swashbuckling Adventures of a Certified Klutz is a brief and bright piece of autobiography that is in turns hilarious and heartwarming.