How to Be: A Guide to Spiritual Development by Tõnn Sarv

How to Be: A Guide to Spiritual Development by Tõnn Sarv is a contemplative exploration of life’s truths and how to use them, by someone who has given the matter much intensive thought.

Author Tõnn Sarv outlines how people are caught in a vicious circle: you try to do good, but the consequences may be negative, so gradually you may stop trying. How can you find a workable middle ground? Here are some of Sarv’s suggestions: admit your flaws, learn to live with less, recognize that the “gap” or quiet space may be where things really happen, take things as they are but also begin to regard suffering as “not needed.”

Sarv presents spiritual concepts in a conversational style, quoting at times from Eastern wisdom with no adherence to any one dogma. His simple recommendations seem possible for ordinary people, not just for advanced practitioners of yoga or meditation, so the book should be most effective for those who are new to Eastern concepts. By being honest himself about his own deficiencies, he opens the possibility for personal honesty in his readers.

At times, Sarv’s pronouncements veer towards loftiness, as if the book is the final answer for one’s problems. Though his recommendations may be ultimately helpful, his self-regard may be off-putting to some readers – even if the book’s goal is to aid people’s self-confidence. At its best, the book asks the readers prodding and provocative questions that will help readers hone in on their weaknesses, such as, “If you can’t control yourself…then what can you do at all?”

All in all, the book’s gentle approach to tough love is both easy to understand and to implement, making How to Be a useful self-help primer for those new to spiritual practices, or those who have not found success with other approaches.