Have you ever opened Facebook and not been able to post even a simple “Washed my feet today” and then looked to see successful(!) indie writers, saying clever things like “Tell about your funniest co-worker” or “What are you reading lately?” and getting 187 comments? And what’s with all the Romance writers? My suggested Friends are usually women Romance writers, who would not read and enjoy anything I’ve written, not in a million years. Why does Facebook keep throwing them at me? I’d be better off with Hooters girls, porn stars, junkies.

I am getting to hate social networking, but not for the social part.I can no longer make the association between my writing and my Tweets. Promoting my writing has become so loathsome I can’t do it. Everywhere I see reports of other eBook authors, telling me they’ve sold 234 books on Kindle this month, 4 on Smashwords, and have no idea about Barnes&Noble. Or look at Tonya Plank’s post today at Huffington, about Amanda Hocking, who has sold 187,000 vampire eBooks this past year. Mike Jastrezbski told the Mystery Writers of America Florida chapter about spending 8-10 hours a day on Kindleboards, building up his readership. And it worked. So what’s wrong with me?

There is a despair that comes over me when I try to self-promote, that takes days to get over. Is there a syndrome here, waiting to be researched? Tell me where, and I’ll send my brain right over. Because others can do it, and suffer no consequence. There must be something wrong with me.

I’m not releasing my novel, The Barricades of Heaven, until I learn to deal with my depression. I’ve printed it at Createspace, and I’m seriously considering just a print run of 50, that I pay for myself. Then I can send a signed copy to someone I like, and they can have something unique. And I can feel good about spending all that time writing and re-writing. Because I didn’t do it to track my sales on Facebook or at my blog or to have something to Tweet about.

Maybe I need a really good Widget. Or to pay a company to do the selling for me. I just want to write. What do you think?


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